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Chapter 12 - Some Final Considerations

Special graces and the discernment of spirits

Many people think of mysticism and contemplative prayer in terms of visions of angels, saints kneeling in ecstatic prayer in the early morning hours, the glow from their bodies bright enough to read by, or someone oblivious to the world rising gently toward the ceiling.  If you look back on what you have read in this book up until this point, there is no mention of such phenomena, and for good reason.  They are by no means essential to contemplative prayer, and, when they do occur, which is very rarely, they are generally to be ignored.

We must always keep in mind that only God can change us into what God wants us to become.  Only God can bring us to union with God, and only God can give us the direct knowledge of himself, knowledge that begins with infused contemplation but which is not perfected until we see God face to face in heaven.

The transforming work that God is carrying on in us and for us does not depend on glorious visions, locutions(audible words spoken to us by God), or even infused contemplation for that matter.  God gives us the gifts we need to be united to him in love, not necessarily the gifts we want.  Those who have experienced ecstatic prayer that literally took them outside themselves, or have been levitated, rising into the air in front of their companions, have often prayed that these “wonders” would cease since they were a distraction both to themselves and others, and they made the one experiencing them the center of attention rather than God.  Great saints usually do not want to have attention called to themselves because they want others to give glory to God, deeming themselves unworthy of praise.

Holiness is centered in the choices we make, not in how we feel or the seeming miracles that surround us.  Satan can appear, as St. Paul tells us, to be an “angel of light.”  If a light show is what we want, Satan can provide one.  If we want to float in the air, Satan could arrange that too.  The devil is more interested in those who are serious in their search for God than bothering with those who care little about being responsive to God’s invitation to come to him in love.  Thus, if the devil can find a way to divert us from being open to God to focus on something that is not God, he will certainly do so. 

John of the Cross taught that if someone receives visions or locutions, she should ignore them.  God, John reminded his readers, is doing the work to transform us into what God wants us to become.  If someone experiences a vision or the like, whatever God wanted to achieve through that gift, assuming it is from God, has already taken place.  If we dwell on the experience, we risk becoming sidetracked, or, worse, we may believe that we are holier than others or more special in the sight of God.  Our prayer, instead, should be that God will continue to work in us, and that God will protect us from sin and the deceits of the devil.

But you might argue that God is trying to tell or teach you something that you need to know to better serve God, or so that you can inform others about what they need to know.  The Roman Catholic Church, for example, has recognized certain appearances of the Virgin Mary as genuine.  Perhaps God has given a vision or locution so that the one who receives it can gives others a message that God wants them to hear.

If God does convey some message to someone so that that person can proclaim it to others, then we have what is known as a special revelation.  God reveals something he wants others on earth to know.   Special revelations are outside the scope of this book because they are not concerned with contemplative prayer.  They are a communication from God, not the knowledge or experience of God in prayer.   

Moreover, a possible special revelation must be tested by the authority of the Church.  It is all too easy for someone to claim that God revealed something to him or her, not for his or her own benefit, but so that it could be proclaimed to the world as a message from God himself.  The danger for deception, even unintended, is great.  Moreover, no special revelation could be required for coming to union with God since all that is necessary in that regard has been supplied in and through Jesus Christ.  This is all we will say about special revelations since they are not contemplative prayer, even if genuine.

In sum, if special gifts such as vision and locutions or ecstasies come along with contemplative prayer, do not let them become the center of your attention, much less long for them instead of genuine union of your will with God’s will.   Such gifts can bring with them confusion and embarrassment as well as deep joy.

If such gifts are present, pray for God to protect you from being deceived.  You may even pray that such gifts cease since your utmost desire is to be united to God in love and not to enjoy unusual phenomena, even if they seem to come from God.  Once again, it is best to have a spiritual director to help you in your discernment concerning such gifts.  Always keep the goal in front of you.  You are continually to accept God’s invitation to be united to him and to be open to his transforming grace to bring about that union.  There are, unfortunately, many ways to be sidetracked from that one essential goal.

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What if you cannot find a spiritual director?

Regardless of whether one can find a suitable director, the goals of spiritual direction are still important for anyone who is actively seeking to be found by God: 1) accountability; 2) discernment of God’s action and 3) responding appropriately to God’s action; and 4) receiving encouragement and prayer support.  The deeper a soul is brought into relationship with God, the more important direction becomes, particularly if the soul begins to experience contemplative gifts or enters the Night of the Senses.  But it is not always possible to find a suitable director.  What other steps can someone take to try to gain the advantages of direction when a director cannot be found?

Even if a compatible spiritual director is available, and especially if one is not, a “soul friend,” or spiritual companion can be of immense value.  A soul friend is someone who can listen compassionately and non-judgmentally to what is happening with you spiritually.  The soul friend is someone who can pray with you when you need prayers, someone who can share your joys and your sorrows on your pilgrimage.  The difference between a soul friend and a spiritual director is that a director generally has more training and experience in spirituality, and will often know of resources, such as books, workshops, or prayer techniques that might assist a particular directee.   The director can, and should, tailor his or her advice to the specific temperament and life situation of the directee, and the director can do so because he or she can draw on her training and experience in fashioning such advice.

But we are not meant to travel our spiritual journeys alone.  A spiritual companion who does nothing more than listen to, and pray with, you can help you to clarify how God is acting in your life and how your might respond appropriately in order to cooperate most effectively with God.

Reading is also often helpful.  You can read spiritual classics like the works of Teresa of Avila or John of the Cross, or you might read works that use more contemporary language and modes of expression.  A suggested reading list is given in Appendix – .  This list is by no means exhaustive, and it does not take into account any special interests that you may have, such as healing prayer or the religious formation of children.  If you feel you are called to some particular ministry, then you will, no doubt, want to read more about that ministry to prepare yourself to exercise it more faithfully and to listen attentively for any special work that God might want of you.

And, as always, the Sacraments and worship with a faith community are powerful aids to gain strength and advice for spiritual growth.

Always remember that whether you can find a spiritual director, or not, God will never abandon you.  God wants to transform you into what God has called all human beings to become, his lovers, united to him in intimacy and grace, sharing his life, coming to know him as he knows us.

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What should a directee bring to direction?

Just as the director has responsibilities toward the directee, so too a directee has responsibilities if the relationship is to bear good fruit.  These are the characteristics I myself want to see in a directee:

1) Openness and honesty - a willingness to be as truthful as possible about him- or herself,  and to share frankly his or her deepest spiritual issues and experiences with the director.

2) Perseverance - a willingness to continue working toward spiritual progress, even when little progress is apparent.  The directee should not change spiritual directors without a compelling reason, although changes are sometimes necessary.

3) Deference toward the director’s advice -  The directee should always treat the director's advice with respect, and, if he chooses to act contrary to it, should make the reasons therefore known to the director.  Where a directee finds herself disagreeing regularly with her director, the two should explore whether the relationship should be continued.

4) Alan Jones in his excellent book, EXPLORING SPIRITUAL DIRECTION, points out, and I agree, that, just as a director should treat communications from the directee as confidential, the directee should also treat what the director says as confidential.  The directee must understand that what the director tells him or her is meant for her alone.  Advice that is sound for one person may be harmful to another.  Since a director must address each directee as an individual, the directee must take the advice of the director as a personal and privileged communication.   

5) The most important attribute I look for is the directee’s  sincere desire to progress in the spiritual life.  Direction is not for those who are half-hearted in their search.  Direction requires an investment on the part of the director that must be warranted by the investment of the directee.  This does not mean that the directee must be far advanced before coming to direction, or even that the directee is already on a clear path, but the desire must be there to love God completely and to follow wherever God might lead.  Direction is not casual conversation about theological matters.  It should relate to a passionate search for what it most important in every human life.

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What makes a good spiritual director?

As noted above, spiritual direction is a special ministry within the Body of Christ.  Ordination is not required, and, in fact, many clergy would not be good spiritual directors, nor would they claim to do spiritual direction.  A member of the clergy, or anyone else for that matter, who has fixed views about how someone must act or how someone must pray in order to grow spiritually, would not make a good spiritual director since the real work of sanctification proceeds from the Holy Spirit, not from the director.  The director is there to help the directee identify how the Spirit is acting in his or her life and how to respond to it, not to insist on the director’s own biases.

A spiritual director must be clear on what spiritual direction is not, lest the director engage in practicing in areas in which he is not qualified, or mistake other forms of care-giving for spiritual direction.

Spiritual direction should not be confused with psychotherapy or pastoral counseling.  Psychotherapy is directed toward solving a psychological problem that interferes with the patient’s ability to function as happily or effectively as the patient would like.  Once the problem has been addressed to the patient’s satisfaction, there is no longer any need for psychotherapy.  Psychotherapy is problem-oriented and time-limited, while spiritual direction can continue indefinitely and is oriented toward enriching the directee’s relationship with God.  A person may be in direction and therapy at the same time, but the director, in general, should not be the therapist, and vice versa.

Pastoral counseling addresses “life issues,” such as preparation for marriage or making a difficult moral decision, for example, whether to have an abortion.   Thus, pastoral counseling, unlike direction, but like psychotherapy, is also issue- or problem-focused and time-limited since the counseling has served its purpose once the issue has been resolved.

No doubt moral issues will arise from time to time in direction, but direction is not the confessional, nor is it a forum for such pastoral services as marriage counseling.  A director may also identify psychological problems that might benefit from professional treatment and suggest the directee see a psychotherapist.  But a director is not the directee’s therapist nor should the directee see the director primarily as a therapist or pastoral counselor.  The director is a spiritual mentor who walks together with the directee on his or her pilgrimage.

The director, therefore, must understand the boundaries of spiritual direction.  Moreover, the director must keep appropriate boundaries with the directee.  If the director becomes too emotionally involved with the directee, then the director loses the objectivity needed to help the directee see God’s action in her life more clearly.

The director, according to Teresa of Avila, should have three characteristics: theological knowledge to prevent the directee from falling into serious error, experience in the spiritual life, and common sense.  In Teresa’s time, when the Spanish Inquisition was active,  heresy and lapsing from the Roman Catholic faith and practice were offenses that could result in prison and even death.  In our day, creedal purity is not considered important by many, and so one might reasonably ask if theological knowledge is still important to a spiritual director.

My own response to the need for theological training is based on the view that a directee must find a director whom she feels is able to understand and appreciate her own religious outlook, and the director, in turn, must be able to understand and be comfortable with that outlook.   Thus, a director who sees say primarily Roman Catholics should have a grounding in Roman Catholic doctrine and worship in order to be able to better understand and advise Roman Catholic directees.

Teresa’s two other requirements, common sense and experience in the spiritual life, are certainly valid today.  Someone without good judgment should not be advising souls.  Someone who has experienced the difficulties, valleys and peaks involved in opening oneself to God’s transforming grace will better understand what a directee is saying and is likely to be more compassionate with regard to the trials a directee may endure.  I would add that to do direction,  someone should be in direction.  This not only adds to the director’s experience he or she brings to the direction of others, but it requires accountability and honesty in his or her own pilgrimage.

I myself believe the most important characteristics of a spiritual director are the following:

1) The director must be someone with whom the directee feels personally comfortable, a person the directee is  willing to trust with his or her inmost thoughts.  Even if a director is otherwise splendidly qualified, he or she will not be able to help a directee if the directee feels uncomfortable with the director for reasons good or bad.

2) The director should be someone who is able and willing to recognize that the Spirit breathes as it will and that the director's way is not the only way to union with God.  A director must be open to prayerful discernment of where God is leading a directee as opposed to where the director might choose to lead.   Put another way, the director must treat each directee as an individual and seek to let his or her ministry reflect the mind of God rather than his or her own biases.  The director must also have the humility to recognize that many of his or her directees may well be more advanced spiritually than he or she is.  And a director must adopt the medical profession’s primary rule: First, do no harm.

3) The director should be experienced in the spiritual life rather than merely versed in the literature and theory of the spiritual life; yet, the director must have some theological grounding so that he or she will not fall inadvertently into serious error, and so that he or she will be able to communicate theological concepts more clearly.  Without extensive actual experience of the spiritual life, a director will be constructing mental images of what a spiritual life ought to be and risks substituting imagination for reality.   It is like a man claiming to know how to fly an airplane because he has read a book on the subject.

4) The director should be a person of prayer, recognizing that he or she is merely an imperfect instrument of God and that God must act through him or her if the direction is to be helpful.

5) The director must be able to keep confidences absolutely inviolate.

Frankly, it is not easy to find a suitable spiritual director.  There may be retreat houses and religious communities in the area that offer spiritual direction, and some churches may have persons on staff who practice spiritual direction, but finding a person who has the characteristics of a good director and with whom the directee feels comfortable can be difficult.

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Chapter 11 - Spiritual Direction

What is spiritual direction?

There is a cliche that says that no one should be the judge in his own case.  Every one of us has blind spots, particularly with regard to our motives and our spiritual condition.  We may think we are acting out of disinterested love of God, whereas we are, at least in part, seeking approval from others, or to “earn” our way into heaven.  We may think we have a vibrant prayer life, whereas we may be interested primarily in the emotional high we get from certain prayer techniques.  On the other hand, we may think our effort at prayer is an abject failure, whereas we may not realize that God is acting to lead us into a deeper and purer form of prayer.

Almost any seeker, therefore, can benefit from a spiritual companion who can help him or her in a variety of ways: First, the companion can be someone to whom the seeker will have degree of accountability in her walk with God.  Human nature is such that most of us are more apt to carry out our duties, even voluntary ones, more faithfully if there is someone to whom we must report on our performance.  For example, if I have made a commitment to engage in Centering Prayer 15 minutes, I am more apt to honor the commitment if my spiritual director knows of it and will ask me how my Centering Prayer is going.  If I am not keeping the commitment, then the director can help me explore why I am not keeping it, and whether Centering Prayer is an appropriate prayer technique given my temperament and circumstances.  Twelve-step groups derive much of their benefit from the fact that a member must report successes or failures to the group.  Likewise, if we have no one to whom we report our spiritual successes or failures, we may soon drop any pretense of trying to progress spiritually.  Accountability helps keep us “honest” and on track.

I may think that I perceive God is pushing me in a certain direction, or leading me to pray in a certain way, or has given me a deep spiritual insight, but, left to myself to ponder what has happened, I may easily misinterpret God’s message, and even be mistaken that the message is from God.  I may be choosing my own spiritual path and asking God to bless it rather than seeking God’s will in my regard.  My spiritual director can help me discern how God is acting in my life and how I might faithfully respond to God’s action.  If God, for example, is leading me into infused contemplative prayer or the Night of the Senses, a director can help me identify the situation and give gentle guidance to assist me down a path I have never traveled before.

Finally, a director can give me support in my pilgrimage, praying with me and for me that I might be ever faithful to God working in me.  Thus, a spiritual director can be helpful in at least four ways: 1) accountability, 2) aid in identifying how God is acting in my life,  3) formulating an appropriate response to God’s action once it is identified, and 4) receiving encouragement and prayer support.  Spiritual direction should include all of these components.

Perhaps the reader is wondering why I am including a chapter on spiritual direction in a work on contemplative prayer.  Several times in the previous chapters I pointed out that having an experienced spiritual director to turn to for advice, or even as a compassionate sounding board, can be an invaluable aid for the soul who is seriously trying to open herself to God’s transforming grace.  Christ did, for better or worse, give us one another as companions on the journey and commanded that we carry out his work of ministry to the world and one another.  Spiritual direction is a ministry to which one is called by God.   Pity the person who chooses it for him or herself without that call.  

Contemplative prayer, particularly infused contemplation, is certain to be a mysterious experience and may even be a frightening one as well if it is entered through the Night of the Senses.  We all need all the help we can get.

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What follows the Night of the Soul?

As Teresa of Avila observed, few, even of the devout, seem to enter this Night.  For one who has entered the Night, there is no prognosis anyone can give on how long this period of purification will last.  God will act as God will act, but always for the good of the soul.

The highest state that can be achieved in this life is “spiritual marriage,” also known as “transforming union.”  According to Teresa of Avila, this state is distinguished by three characteristics: intimacy with God, serenity and indissolubility or permanence.

The soul is so intimate with God that God’s life and the soul’s life are as one.  Teresa likens the intimacy with rain water from heaven mixing with spring water on earth such that one cannot tell which is rain water and which is spring water.  As much as any created being can on this earth, the soul shares in the life of God.

The serenity or peace that the soul experiences is that of a happily married person who is certain of the love of her spouse.  A soul in the state of transforming union is no longer subject to the trials of the Nights.  The soul has effectively forgotten itself and lives only in God.

Obviously, if there are few who reach the Night of the Soul, there are fewer still who are blessed with Transforming Union, but it is a state to which every soul should aspire since it is as close to our final goal of union with God as any soul can reach on earth.