Paths to Contemplation - 53

What makes a good spiritual director?

As noted above, spiritual direction is a special ministry within the Body of Christ.  Ordination is not required, and, in fact, many clergy would not be good spiritual directors, nor would they claim to do spiritual direction.  A member of the clergy, or anyone else for that matter, who has fixed views about how someone must act or how someone must pray in order to grow spiritually, would not make a good spiritual director since the real work of sanctification proceeds from the Holy Spirit, not from the director.  The director is there to help the directee identify how the Spirit is acting in his or her life and how to respond to it, not to insist on the director’s own biases.

A spiritual director must be clear on what spiritual direction is not, lest the director engage in practicing in areas in which he is not qualified, or mistake other forms of care-giving for spiritual direction.

Spiritual direction should not be confused with psychotherapy or pastoral counseling.  Psychotherapy is directed toward solving a psychological problem that interferes with the patient’s ability to function as happily or effectively as the patient would like.  Once the problem has been addressed to the patient’s satisfaction, there is no longer any need for psychotherapy.  Psychotherapy is problem-oriented and time-limited, while spiritual direction can continue indefinitely and is oriented toward enriching the directee’s relationship with God.  A person may be in direction and therapy at the same time, but the director, in general, should not be the therapist, and vice versa.

Pastoral counseling addresses “life issues,” such as preparation for marriage or making a difficult moral decision, for example, whether to have an abortion.   Thus, pastoral counseling, unlike direction, but like psychotherapy, is also issue- or problem-focused and time-limited since the counseling has served its purpose once the issue has been resolved.

No doubt moral issues will arise from time to time in direction, but direction is not the confessional, nor is it a forum for such pastoral services as marriage counseling.  A director may also identify psychological problems that might benefit from professional treatment and suggest the directee see a psychotherapist.  But a director is not the directee’s therapist nor should the directee see the director primarily as a therapist or pastoral counselor.  The director is a spiritual mentor who walks together with the directee on his or her pilgrimage.

The director, therefore, must understand the boundaries of spiritual direction.  Moreover, the director must keep appropriate boundaries with the directee.  If the director becomes too emotionally involved with the directee, then the director loses the objectivity needed to help the directee see God’s action in her life more clearly.

The director, according to Teresa of Avila, should have three characteristics: theological knowledge to prevent the directee from falling into serious error, experience in the spiritual life, and common sense.  In Teresa’s time, when the Spanish Inquisition was active,  heresy and lapsing from the Roman Catholic faith and practice were offenses that could result in prison and even death.  In our day, creedal purity is not considered important by many, and so one might reasonably ask if theological knowledge is still important to a spiritual director.

My own response to the need for theological training is based on the view that a directee must find a director whom she feels is able to understand and appreciate her own religious outlook, and the director, in turn, must be able to understand and be comfortable with that outlook.   Thus, a director who sees say primarily Roman Catholics should have a grounding in Roman Catholic doctrine and worship in order to be able to better understand and advise Roman Catholic directees.

Teresa’s two other requirements, common sense and experience in the spiritual life, are certainly valid today.  Someone without good judgment should not be advising souls.  Someone who has experienced the difficulties, valleys and peaks involved in opening oneself to God’s transforming grace will better understand what a directee is saying and is likely to be more compassionate with regard to the trials a directee may endure.  I would add that to do direction,  someone should be in direction.  This not only adds to the director’s experience he or she brings to the direction of others, but it requires accountability and honesty in his or her own pilgrimage.

I myself believe the most important characteristics of a spiritual director are the following:

1) The director must be someone with whom the directee feels personally comfortable, a person the directee is  willing to trust with his or her inmost thoughts.  Even if a director is otherwise splendidly qualified, he or she will not be able to help a directee if the directee feels uncomfortable with the director for reasons good or bad.

2) The director should be someone who is able and willing to recognize that the Spirit breathes as it will and that the director's way is not the only way to union with God.  A director must be open to prayerful discernment of where God is leading a directee as opposed to where the director might choose to lead.   Put another way, the director must treat each directee as an individual and seek to let his or her ministry reflect the mind of God rather than his or her own biases.  The director must also have the humility to recognize that many of his or her directees may well be more advanced spiritually than he or she is.  And a director must adopt the medical profession’s primary rule: First, do no harm.

3) The director should be experienced in the spiritual life rather than merely versed in the literature and theory of the spiritual life; yet, the director must have some theological grounding so that he or she will not fall inadvertently into serious error, and so that he or she will be able to communicate theological concepts more clearly.  Without extensive actual experience of the spiritual life, a director will be constructing mental images of what a spiritual life ought to be and risks substituting imagination for reality.   It is like a man claiming to know how to fly an airplane because he has read a book on the subject.

4) The director should be a person of prayer, recognizing that he or she is merely an imperfect instrument of God and that God must act through him or her if the direction is to be helpful.

5) The director must be able to keep confidences absolutely inviolate.

Frankly, it is not easy to find a suitable spiritual director.  There may be retreat houses and religious communities in the area that offer spiritual direction, and some churches may have persons on staff who practice spiritual direction, but finding a person who has the characteristics of a good director and with whom the directee feels comfortable can be difficult.