Paths to Contemplation - 54

What should a directee bring to direction?

Just as the director has responsibilities toward the directee, so too a directee has responsibilities if the relationship is to bear good fruit.  These are the characteristics I myself want to see in a directee:

1) Openness and honesty - a willingness to be as truthful as possible about him- or herself,  and to share frankly his or her deepest spiritual issues and experiences with the director.

2) Perseverance - a willingness to continue working toward spiritual progress, even when little progress is apparent.  The directee should not change spiritual directors without a compelling reason, although changes are sometimes necessary.

3) Deference toward the director’s advice -  The directee should always treat the director's advice with respect, and, if he chooses to act contrary to it, should make the reasons therefore known to the director.  Where a directee finds herself disagreeing regularly with her director, the two should explore whether the relationship should be continued.

4) Alan Jones in his excellent book, EXPLORING SPIRITUAL DIRECTION, points out, and I agree, that, just as a director should treat communications from the directee as confidential, the directee should also treat what the director says as confidential.  The directee must understand that what the director tells him or her is meant for her alone.  Advice that is sound for one person may be harmful to another.  Since a director must address each directee as an individual, the directee must take the advice of the director as a personal and privileged communication.   

5) The most important attribute I look for is the directee’s  sincere desire to progress in the spiritual life.  Direction is not for those who are half-hearted in their search.  Direction requires an investment on the part of the director that must be warranted by the investment of the directee.  This does not mean that the directee must be far advanced before coming to direction, or even that the directee is already on a clear path, but the desire must be there to love God completely and to follow wherever God might lead.  Direction is not casual conversation about theological matters.  It should relate to a passionate search for what it most important in every human life.