Paths to Contemplation - 42

Signs of the Night of the Senses

The soul must realize that feeling that one is close to God is not the same as being close to God, just as the soul must realize that holiness does not consist in feeling holy but in conforming her will to the will of God in her regard.  A purer, less conditional love of God comes not from more emotional prayer, but from fidelity to God’s will even when one does not feel like being faithful.

Likewise, faith, complete trust in God, becomes stronger when it must be exercised, not when the soul is carried on the wings of her pleasant sensations.   God is a God who surpasses our natural abilities as human beings.  Whenever we mistake something we think, or imagine, or feel or sense for God, no matter how profound or pleasing our thoughts, images, feelings or sensations may be, we risk going stray.  We may become comfortable thinking that we have found what we were looking for, or that what we have obtained is sufficient, so we need seek no further.  God must prod us to get us on our way once more toward our real goal which only God can provide.

The Night of the Senses, therefore, deprives us of our customary pleasures in prayer, whatever form these may have taken.  We no longer experience the sweet sadness that came from gazing at a crucifix, nor do we feel close to God as we read our favorite psalm.  Even the church services that gave such pleasure and excitement may now seem dull and uninspiring.  The joy that was part of singing hymns of praise is gone as, seemingly, is the very presence of God.  Whereas before our spiritual life was a fragrant garden, now it is a dry and barren desert.

This change is our prayer life is not due to apathy on our part.  We want to pray.  We yearn for the old times when God felt so close and showered favors on us.  We try to pray, and then try again, but the attempts are painful and make us even more distracted than before.  Our desire for God is strong; or, at least our desire is strong to return to the fragrant garden we enjoyed so recently and that now seems so far away.  We are conscious of what we once thought we had, and now clearly do not have.  Whereas before a half-hour meditating on the Cross flew by without effort, now each minute gazing at the Cross requires our strenuous efforts.

Why is this time called the Night of the Senses?  This is because it occurs to pull us away from dependence on our senses, our emotions, our intellects – all of which are not God – so that God can draw us more closely to himself in a purer faith and love.