Paths to Contemplation - 21

How do we measure “success” in Centering Prayer?

There is no more certainty that Dom Freeman’s method will be successful for a particular individual than will Fr. Keating’s.  But the question must be raised: How do we measure success in prayer?  Is prayer successful only if we get what we pray for?  What if we are not praying for anything but are simply trying to rest quietly in God, and yet God seems nowhere at hand?  If we spend 20 minutes in Centering Prayer and been anxious and distracted the entire period, have we wasted our time?

Keep in mind that prayer is orienting ourselves toward God, intentionally directing our lives toward God in love.  Prayer so defined can never be a waste of time even though it does not bring the consolation or results that we hoped it would.  This does not mean that we should continue to beat our heads against a wall by continuing to use some prayer technique that makes us more anxious and distracted than other forms of prayer.  We are each individuals with individual temperaments, individual environments in which we live and work, and individual life experiences that we bring to prayer.  These individual factors will heavily color our prayer lives.

Some persons, for example, think primarily visually, that is, they picture in the mind’s eye what they are thinking about.  Other persons are primarily verbal.  When a visual person hears the word “tree,” she may imagine the image of a tree, while a verbal person hearing “tree” may think of a verbal description of a tree.  If a visual person tries to use prayer techniques that are designed for verbal persons, he is likely to become frustrated and perhaps come to believe that all prayer is a waste of time; and, conversely, a verbal person encouraged to use techniques that involve constructing visual images in his imagination will be frustrated.  Few, if any people are purely verbal or purely visual in the way they think, but most are predominantly one or the other.

I strongly encourage everyone to experiment with a variety of prayer techniques to find those most suited to their own circumstances.  Do not be afraid to make up your own prayer techniques.  

Centering Prayer is not for everyone, but the failure to “feel” that Centering Prayer, or any prayer, has been successful is not the measure of its success.  There may even come a time in one’s spiritual life that no prayer technique seems to work.  All prayer seems dry.  God seems more distant than ever, and concentration at prayer time is an impossibility. Ironically, as we will see later in discussing the “Nights,” such aridity may signal progress in prayer. 

Prayer that causes tears to flow or an abundance of laughter is not necessarily the best prayer.  Prayer having strong emotional value to us can even become a hindrance to spiritual growth as the prayer becomes more an end in itself, a method to obtain a spiritual high, instead of a means to open ourselves more to the transforming grace of God.

What is the measure of success in prayer?  My first piece of advice is not to try to keep score.   Although there may be some benefit to keeping records of our achievements if we play golf, bowl or are track stars, there is no such benefit in keeping score while trying to follow Christ.  As St. Paul said, “We all fall short of the glory of God.”  Even trying to keep score can be a source of distraction and even derail our spiritual progress, which, after all, is God’s work, not ours.   Remember, too, that if God kept score, we would all lose.  

But we should be aware whether the prayer is leading us to conform our wills more closely to what we believe God desires of us.  Holiness consists in the choices we make, not in how we feel.  If we are sincerely trying to follow the will of God in our regard as best we can discern that will, then we are moving in the right direction.  And if whatever form of prayer we use strengthens us in that resolve, then it is successful.   If our prayer makes us more willing to let God be in control of our lives rather than ourselves, it is successful.  If our prayer enables us to be more compassionate and loving toward others, more willing to sacrifice for the sake of advancing the Kingdom, it is successful.

If, on the other hand, we are filled with joy and sense that God is next to us every time we sit down to pray, but when we finish we kick the dog and yell at the kids, then maybe our prayer is not as effective as it might be.  The biblical cliche, “By their fruits, you will know them,” is still valid today.